Like a deceptively dormant Vanarama Vesuvius, Dulwich Hamlet have exploded into life, spewing molten signings all over South East London while launching a pyroclastic surge of a new kit to blow the minds of awe-stricken locals. You lava to see it.  

First the players, where whimpers of joy met the news that the Pink and Blues have retained a sack-load of fan favourites from last season; including salmonesque shot-stopper Charlie Grainger, Danny “puts the tall in stalwart” Mills, Sanchez “The Emperor” Ming and square-jawed club captain Jack Holland. Welcome back boys. In addition, new players there are plenty. Deadfield, Porter and Splatt might sound like a dodgy firm of Peckham bailiffs. But these non league galacticos bring with them the promise of getting their foot in the National South’s door before taking and flogging its sofa and tele.  And then there’s others like Krasniqi, Owusu, Comley, and Osaghe, who have driven the Hamlet’s crack team of terrace songwriters to frenziedly ransack the back catalogue of early nineties electronica for inspiration. With Gavin Rose remaining at the helm, could this be the side to put some dog back into Dog Kennel Hill? “Hope is the pillar that holds up the World. Hope is the dream of a waking man” as Pliny the Elder said just before his Pompeian petrification.  

Meanwhile, sight of the Sons of Edgar Kail’s new kit has sent eruptions of hot joy shuddering through the fanbase. We’ve had the horizontal stripe. We’ve had the sash. We’ve even had a bit of bauhaus asymmetry. But for 2022/23 we’ve got a pink and blue quartered Battenberg beauty of a kit that is so damn sexy it will make you consider leaving your spouse and kids to set up a love nest with it above a disappointingly understocked delicatessen on the Forest Hill Road. Proper gorgeous. Or peng if you’re a nipper. The away kit is a looker too, paying homage to our much loved German pen-pals Altona 93.  

So there you have it. If you’re not inspired by all of that, perchance to buy yourself a season ticket, or an ill-advisedly tight replica shirt, then there’s not a lot we can do for you. You are interested? Well then get yourself down to the club’s website for ticket news and all your pre-season and early season match details ( . And keep an eye on the Supporters Trust website for updates on new merch, including replica kits ( We’re all going to look like a right bunch of swaggering dandies walking down Lordship Lane in this clobber.   

In the meantime, Up The Hamlet and we’ll see you down Champion Hill.